geographic truths

recently i've come upon a street sign in my neighborhood which was titled "manteuffelstrasse". roughly translated this means " street of the man-devil". not only did i think it was kinda cool to have a street warn you of the facts of life, but i also had gotten inspired to look for more of these geographical truths here in b-town. unfortunately i didn't find anything else.

the street where i'm living is called "rich hill street" and all people i see outside my window seem to be either unemployed, poor students or turkish families of 7. and the district where i'm living is called "cross hill". there's also a "prenzlau hill", a "beautiful hill" and a "hill of lights". they all sound pretty, but berlin is as flat as it gets. absolutely no hill in sight. actually there's one, the "devil's hill". but technically speaking it's just a mountain of rubble from WWII. i didn't fare any better with the "tiergarten" district, where one should find a "garden of animals". i've been there, but all i've seen in the park was a man who was jerking off behind a bush :( though one could say, that he showed some animalistic behavior. which brings me back to the man-devil...


note:

the picture up there shows the "paris square" with the brandenburg gate - which features lots of japanese tourists besides a huge starbucks and the jfk museum. and then there's the story of napoleon trying to steal the triaga on top of the gate... not so appropriate, huh?

television is your friend - and itunes even more

at least they're mine. i know people that don't even have a tv these days. but to me it's a warm and fuzzy feeling to know i can tune in each week to see what "house" or all those con artists on "lost" are up to. especially when you've recently moved and it's taking a while to make contact to real human beings. which in germany are really just as mean as "house" or "the others". but its exactly this tv dependence which puts me in a weird spot this week. season finales are upon me. which means only ca. 250 days until lost returns in february 08 (banging my head against the wall here). and my "house" dates won't resume until september neither :(

so to keep myself entertained this summer, i've gotten all nostalgic and started rewatching "beverly hills 90210" online. this show debuted when i was about 13 and i'm not embarrassed to say that i religiously watched it until the bitter end. yes, i was there when dylan's mob dad got killed, when brandon almost slept with andrea zuckerman (twice!) and when kelly became addicted to diet pills, got shot, joined a cult, almost died in a fire, lost her baby and got raped (twice!). and not only am i rediscovering this old favorite of mine, but i'm also improving my swedish language skills as well. you see, the online episodes have gotten swedish subtitles and i only recently learned such important vocabulary like "har du skyd?" which means "do you have a condom?" and which you'll probably not find in any language-course book and which -as everyone knows- is really a cornerstone of every swedish conversation.

and there they always say that tv isn't good for you. apparently it's not supposed to engage your brain in an intellectual way. yeah, right! you people out there without tv, just go ahead and read books! but by the end of this summer it will be ME who is able to know how to speak swedish. and if i run out of 90210-episodes , i'll just go and re-watch "lost" for the 23rd time...

thanks god for itunes.

aww, this just made my day...

go, boys!

charleston or something like it

about once a month the so-called "society for glamorous entertainment" invites nostalgic berliners to their "boheme sauvage". and so last saturday night my 20's alter ego lotte blumberg (a 17-year-old, still unspoiled department store model) dolled up and made her golden age debut in company of her rich and influential heiress friend kara wittgenstein. the joint where the entertainment took place consisted of two rooms. one a swanky salon where swing, gypsy, tango and balkan brass were played among others and the conferencier coco warmed up the crowd with tap dancing before a charleston lesson took place. which was quite the bee's knees - and dangerous because of all the kick steps. the spiffy crowd willingly stepped up to the dress code of strictly bohèmian, burlesque, cabaret, cancan, dandy, decadent, diva, gigolo, glamour, mafiosi, moulin rouge, variéte and vaudeville and displayed the best of manners. and besides many big cheese society members the wide-eyed lotte even spotted sherlock holmes out on a nightly prowl, though he did keep to himself most of the time.

the second room proved much darker and was clouded by the heavy smoke of ciggys. here in the casino the crowd indulged in poker, black jack and absinthe. when lotte had entered the venue, she was handed 60 million reichsmark with the invitation to increase the fortune through gambling, blackmail or other deals. but the naive girl lost half the amount right away to the monsieur in the "separee du spiritisme" who's tarot card reading announced that -beware the heebie jeebies- her next daddy will be a brillant, intellectual man without a back bone. which seems to be exactly the kind of sap, poor lotte has always been goofy about. applesauce! to make matters even worse, lotte then gambled away the rest of her fortune at the roulette table by two am. fortunately her benefactor kara wittgenstein stepped in to provide her with further means which lotte eventually lost too. when she emerged back into the salon at five am, the hoofers were still going at it although the sun was already shining through the windows.

lotte finally went home by train with the other owls, happy about what a swell night it had been. now, let's hope nobody finds out about her shenanigans, so she can have a whopee when the next "boheme sauvage" rolls around...

poor baby is sick

lately i've not been feeling too well.
in fact, i'm all bored, everyday life seems totally bleak and i seem to be constantly bothered by a lack of superficiality in my life. i think i'm missing LA. this has gone on for a while now and so i finally went to see a doctor. five minutes in his office and he confirmed that i had a serious case of "missiotitis US weeklyosis". (i should be a patient on HOUSE!). but the doc told me not to worry and gave me a prescription for "defamer" and "the superficial" although i was warned that there are high risks of getting addicted to them.

include me in your prayers during these tough times.

what are german people actually really like?

recently i've picked up a book that has been staying in the german bestseller charts ever since it came out in 2005. it's called "der dativ ist dem genitiv sein tod" ("the dative is the genitive its death") and deals with the difficulties and dangers of the german language. i tried to find out more about the subject by googling which ultimately led me to a web page that answers the question of what german people are really like. in fact, it invites people all over the world to send in their many perceptions about me and my landsleute. and since i see this blog among other things as a tool to inform the often unknowing US public, i will share this wealth of knowledge with you.

disclaimer:
the descriptions of german people below are entirely the views of an international public and represent neither my viewpoint nor the one of my compatriots.

here we go:

german people descend from apes

german people descend from farmers and artisans

german people don't wash their cars on sundays and never use toilets after dark

german women wear pigtails, have facial hair and mens' bodies

german men are bald and sport big moustaches

german people are efficient in organizing foreigners' funerals

german people are like dutch people, there are just more of them

german people are like british people, but have better teeth and sailboats

german people are physically and mentally superior to british people

german people are wimpy, surrendering monkeys (probably the view of a british person)

german people tan easily and are heavily taxed

german people love tidiness, recycling and oompah music

german people eat beige food and smell of sausages

german people are bony and stiff

german people are wild and sexy (oh, ja!)

german grandmas are always drunk

german women are amazing in bed, but controlling

german people wear lederhosen & alpine hats and are generally fat

german people tell fat people that they're fat

german construction workers are always trying to kill people

german people are doomed


please feel free to add your perception of german people in the comment section. dankeschoen!

see, germans are nice!

i've already mentioned the cute way germans create screenplays. and now after i gave my small screen debut last week, i've got further proof that germans are actually pretty nice people.

for years while i was in the US, i was watching WW II movies in which every single german character seemed to have a grim face and was generally shouting. which strongly supports the notion that germans are ugly people speaking an ugly language. but i don't think that's true at all. we might only smile once a month, first answer with a stern "no" to everything we're asked for and -grinding teeth- have a slight tendency to invade other countries, but you can't say that we haven't gotten any manners.

take this. in the american movie industry it is standard for the director to shout "action" to start shooting. but in germany the director calls "bitte" which means "please". and he's not shouting at all, he says it in an almost pleading manner. when i was working as an extra last friday, i needed about an hour to even figure out who the director was since he was all buried behind his monitor like a little mouse. so, what about that authoritative "action" in the US if you can also accomplish the work with a polite "please"? i mean, why make the effort to be polite in all other areas of life, when we treat actors and film crew like cattle?

side notes about my small screen debut

and i emphasize "small screen" here since i only did a tv show. this was made painfully clear to me by the other extras who all had done movies already. one of them was even in "the lives of others".

"you know, the one that won an oscar!"

i tried to counter that with my hollywood experience which solely consists of being an extra in "deal or no deal" but was immediately defeated with

"and i've done the bourne supremacy".

one can't argue with that. i tried to make up for my lacking experience by acting extra-affectionately towards the empty baby carriage i was given to work with. that was the only prop i was given, while the other more experienced extras got to ride bicycles. well, maybe next time...

on the other hand, i got to take part in an action scene. if that's what you would call a scene in which a hunky young man is chasing a clown (!) down the street...